Sometimes it’s ok not to be ok

This week I had a mini revelation.

It’s ok to say you’re not ok.

During the healing of my marriage break-up I worked hard to turn around my perspective on life; focus on the good stuff in order to bring in more good (the law of attraction); learn to love myself and my flaws, and see the opportunity for growth in all situations. Living this way healed me from my crisis, it brought me new love and a happier life.

But I got myself into a bit of a fix. Being positive, a survivor of hardship and strong under pressure became who I was. At times I felt amazingly strong, but I forgot about the part of me that was just human, not superhuman. I began to put higher expectations on myself to achieve personal goals. I hoped that I could fit everything I wanted and needed to do into a mere 24 hours a day, and still be happy and serene. I realised I was trying to juggle three children as a single parent, run a household alone, write a book and a blog, find quality time for me, find quality time with my partner, work a job, train on a course and care for my elderly mother who is in declining health. Continue reading

3 Ways to Know If Our Perceptions of Each Other Are Accurate

My latest post is another article for Tiny Buddha. This is a helpful one for if you’ve ever struggled with the concept that observing negative behaviour in others is always just a projection of your own negativity – I know I certainly did!

Here’s how I understand things better now: 3 Ways to Know if Our Perceptions Of Each Other Are Accurate

I’d love to know if this resonates with you, and what you think. Feel free to comment below.

Marissa x

Share: Give and Get Support

butterfly.jpgRelationship break-up is probably one of the most common life crises there is, but that doesn’t make it any less devastating when it happens to you. One of the positives that can come from a painful experience is that, as you heal from it, you have the opportunity to help others going through a similar ordeal.

I want to share readers’ positive stories, so that anyone feeling in the depths of despair right now, can see that there is hope of a happier future.

If you would like to share your story, please contact me on the Get In Touch page. If you would like your story to remain anonymous that’s fine, just let me know and I won’t print your name.

hf_logo[1] I have also started a ‘Break Up and Shine’ group over on the wonderful social networking site Her Future. Please come along to ask advice, seek support or offer inspiration. You will need to sign up to the site in order to join in the forum, but it is a wonderful supportive community for women looking to be inspired in all aspects of life.

Although the Her Future forum is only open to women, anybody wanting to share resources, or ask for support is welcome to comment on my Share page.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Marissa ♥

How to handle conflict with your ex…and truly win

butterfly.jpg  “Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists”                                                                                              Eckhart Tolle                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Conflict and disagreement are inevitable when a relationship breaks up, especially if the circumstances are unexpected or painful. If there are ongoing ties such as a marriage to dissolve, a home to divide, or children to care for, the disputes can go on for many years.

Each new episode of conflict can be stressful, draining and leave you feeling you are stuck with all the pain of being around that person, yet none of the former benefits. So how do you stop the stress of conflict taking over and preventing you from moving on with your life?

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Why Valentine’s day is for the broken-hearted too

cropped-p1030055.jpgIt’s that time of year that brings out a mix of the true romantics, the annual big-gesture- makers, and the cynics to have their say on love.

I am one of those in awe of true love and happy relationships; I adore romance, yet I can take or leave Valentine’s day. But I am not cynical of it. As far I as I’m concerned, if something promotes people being good to each other it is wonderful, even if it is a commercial money spinner.

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Happy 2013, think like a child, dream big!

butterfly breakupandshine4Today I sat with my two eldest children and began a new New Years Eve tradition. We took a huge sheet of paper and on one side wrote “Thank you 2012 for…” and listed all the things we enjoyed and appreciated about the past year. It was heart-warming to see their responses, it showed me how happy and thriving my children are despite the upheaval of divorce in their young lives.

We then went on to write a wish list for 2013 on the other side of the page.

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