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butterfly breakupandshine4  Hello and welcome!

Are you suffering the unique yet universal pain that is The End of a Relationship?

If it’s very recent for you, well done for getting up and facing the day. I know the strength that it takes.

If it’s been a while but your life still doesn’t seem to be moving on from the break up, that’s completely normal. I can help you make the shift.

Thank you for being here and I truly hope that Break Up and Shine will help you.

So…

What if you could make the heartbreak disappear?

What if, very soon, you could look back at the pain you feel at the moment, and be grateful for what it has made you become?

What if all areas of your life were filled with love, inspiration and a sense of joy because of the break up

What if you could see this divorce as the best thing that ever happened to you?

Does it feel too soon to imagine that? Do you believe that it’s even possible? Because I didn’t believe it three years ago. I was where you may be now. Devastated at the end of my marriage. Unable to believe that my husband was telling me it was over; betrayed by his affair and overwhelmed at being a single mother of three small children. I didn’t know how I would ever be ok again.

But I can truly, hand on heart, say that am glad that it happened. Because today my life is more wonderful than it ever would have been had I stayed married to him.

It took a journey of conscious healing to get here, which I shared in my original blog. I am also writing my first book based on my experience and what I’ve learned.

Now I want you to know what worked for me. So welcome to Break Up and Shine! It’s a place to share healing tools, words of wisdom and support for anyone going through it right now.

You are not alone and it WILL be ok.

Marissa  ♥

Share: Give and Get Support

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butterfly.jpgRelationship break-up is probably one of the most common life crises there is, but that doesn’t make it any less devastating when it happens to you. One of the positives that can come from a painful experience is that, as you heal from it, you have the opportunity to help others going through a similar ordeal.

I want to share readers’ positive stories, so that anyone feeling in the depths of despair right now, can see that there is hope of a happier future.

If you would like to share your story, please contact me on the Get In Touch page. If you would like your story to remain anonymous that’s fine, just let me know and I won’t print your name.

hf_logo[1] I have also started a ‘Break Up and Shine’ group over on the wonderful social networking site Her Future. Please come along to ask advice, seek support or offer inspiration. You will need to sign up to the site in order to join in the forum, but it is a wonderful supportive community for women looking to be inspired in all aspects of life.

Although the Her Future forum is only open to women, anybody wanting to share resources, or ask for support is welcome to comment on my Share page.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Marissa ♥

Finding Love Again

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Reblogged from Lessons From the End of a Marriage:

When we are young and our hearts are relatively intact, love seems to be an easy endeavor. Potential partners are everywhere and the possibilities seem endless. As we get older (or, as I prefer to think of it, wiser), love no longer seems so simple. We are more aware of the pitfalls and are more critical of potential partners. Our hearts are laced with cracks and we fear any other breakages.

Read more… 719 more words

butterfly.jpgThis is wonderful advice from a wonderful blog. A very different experience to mine of finding love again (which I will share at some point), but positive and hopeful and inspiring.

The grief of a broken heart; feel it to move beyond it

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butterfly.jpgToday’s post is a gift which I am so excited and delighted to bring you! It will be especially helpful to those going through the early days of a break up.

I started to write it almost three years ago for my first blog, and it eventually evolved into chapter one of the book Break Up and Shine, which I am currently writing. This first chapter, entitled “The five stages of grief and beyond” is available below for you to download for free.

If you are ready to start healing, this will put you on the right path. It describes why you feel what you feel in those first agonising days, weeks and months. I share my story and show you that what you are feeling, however low, is normal and won’t last forever. At the end of the chapter is an exercise I created to help you assess where you are with your emotions in order to move forward.

In recent weeks I’ve been in direct contact with several people going through the tough early stages of a break up. I have empathised with their pain, but also felt fortunate that I have wisdom I can share with them about getting through it it.

I realised that while writing my book is a huge goal of mine, my ultimate aim is to use what I have experienced and learned to help others. So while a published book may be some time away, I know from feedback that what I have already written can support and inspire people now, so why hang about?

So, here for you is: Break Up and Shine Chapter One The 5 stages of grief and beyond

Read it, pass it on to anyone you think it may help, and please comment and let me know if you have found it useful, I’d love to hear from you!

With love and encouragement in moving on,

Marissa ♥

How to handle conflict with your ex…and truly win

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butterfly.jpg  “Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists”                                                                                              Eckhart Tolle                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Conflict and disagreement are inevitable when a relationship breaks up, especially if the circumstances are unexpected or painful. If there are ongoing ties such as a marriage to dissolve, a home to divide, or children to care for, the disputes can go on for many years.

Each new episode of conflict can be stressful, draining and leave you feeling you are stuck with all the pain of being around that person, yet none of the former benefits. So how do you stop the stress of conflict taking over and preventing you from moving on with your life?

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Why Valentine’s day is for the broken-hearted too

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cropped-p1030055.jpgIt’s that time of year that brings out a mix of the true romantics, the annual big-gesture- makers, and the cynics to have their say on love.

I am one of those in awe of true love and happy relationships; I adore romance, yet I can take or leave Valentine’s day. But I am not cynical of it. As far I as I’m concerned, if something promotes people being good to each other it is wonderful, even if it is a commercial money spinner.

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Let your guard down and trust again

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In love and in life, our vulnerability is one of our greatest strengths. We often believe that we risk too much by being vulnerable, but, in fact, the opposite is true. When we build a wall around us to protect ourselves from our big, bad fears, we miss out on so much.

When we live with the mindset that something may be taken from us (physically or emotionally), or that we need to be in control of everything that happens, we endure fear on a daily basis.

It’s exhausting to live this way. It makes us cynical, suspicious, and unable to follow our hearts because we are afraid of what might happen….

  • To read the full article please visit Tiny Buddha. Thank you to Lori Deschene for publishing my work.

you are a wonderful single parent!

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dear mummy

I thought you ought to hear that!

When I received a text message yesterday, telling me what a great job I was doing for my children, it brought tears to my eyes. So this is for those who have been left holding the baby, to congratulate you and remind you of the great job you are also doing.

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